I did not create this blog to be a Pulitzer Prize-winning work of art. My intention is to use it to keep me accountable for this workout/eating plan I want to start on Monday. So, if the thoughts and words on here are jumbled and mumbled and the grammar isn't perfection, I apologize. I just sort of want to use this to get it all out.
I want to be "metamorphosized" because I am just so sick and tired of feeling the way I do. I am not aiming for perfection. I just want to fit in my clothes again.
I have lots of reasons why I am 25 pounds heavier than I'd like to be. Mostly, it's because I eat like crap. And because I'm getting older. And because I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy (hello, because I eat like crap) and I have failed to lose the last 10 pounds. They like to hang out. I'm not blaming all of this on the pregnancy, though. If you do the math, you'd calculate that I wanted to lose 15 pounds even BEFORE I got pregnant.
I am tired of settling for larger pants' sizes and dress sizes. I am tired of having to suck it in any time we go anywhere fancy. I am tired of having to rock the "tankini" instead of my normal bikini. I'm only 29. I'm not dead.
I picked Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis program to aid me in this journey. It's pretty radical and radical is just what I need. So radical, in fact, which is why I feel defeated...already.
Why do I feel defeated? Because I opened the DVDs this afternoon to get acquainted with the program before I start it on Monday. I watched the Cardio Dance DVD in hopes that it would be something I would enjoy (I use to be a dancer and this white girl's got rhythm). I was sad to see it was a lot of...jumping. A lot of high-intensity jumping and skipping. NOT dancing. I was bummed. I like to jump and skip with the best of them, but to be brutally honest with you: It looked hard. Why couldn't she had just thrown in a little Zumba?!
Then, I watched the strength-training DVD. Looks doable. In fact, that was the only silver lining to this whole "getting acquainted thing." I'm actually excited to start them.
Then the kicker: The diet plan. I perused the booklet and that's when the ugly, little voice chimed in: "You'll never be able to do this." I hate that voice.
The menu is comprised of foods I never eat...mostly because I think they're gross (yes, I know that's probably why I am 25 pounds overweight). And not only are they "weird" foods, but she wants me to steam and puree them!! I'm expected to eat like my 7-month-old! How on earth will I ever be able to do this?
Defeated. I feel absolutely defeated. I want so badly to be on board with this 100%, but the food plan is really throwing me off.
Creating this blog tonight helped, though. In fact, I already feel a little better after having put my thoughts into words.
I can do this. I will do this.
Right?
Stay tuned for more pre-game thoughts and feelings by yours truly. I'm sure there will be plenty.
I LOVE your writing! Seriously. You work magic with words, from the header paragraph up top to the entire post.
ReplyDeleteNow onto what it's about... you CAN do it! I am so impressed that you're jumping in so fully. Normally I hear something on a food plan that I don't like, and I turn my nose up at it. I love that you have so much determination which will ultimately lead to your success. Start by celebrating the small victories, because each one will lead to something big... well, actually they will lead to something smaller -you! :)